Relationship Advice - Have a Partner, not Competitor
December 14th, 2008If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship will agree that it is difficult. Being locked in competition with your partner makes things infinitely more of a challenge. Once this vicious cycle begins, your relationship is in big trouble. By practicing a little damage control as soon as this problem starts can save an otherwise doomed relationship.Who is susceptible to this sort of problem? Ambitious people, who tend to be drawn to one another, can find this competition destroying their relationship if they are not careful. If you are asking yourself if this is a problem in your relationship, it may already have gotten to a point of no return. Rori Raye has a term she calls “boy energy,” which describes the type of energy that you use to accomplish great things. She tells us women to leave it out of our relationships with men, for this precise reason: it can destroy everything you have worked for. The signs that there is a problem should be pretty obvious. He will begin to avoid competitive activities, and may become confrontational when you ask him to do little things like go jogging or play a game of pool. When he begins to shy away from fun things you once enjoyed together that involve competition, you can be sure that something is wrong. Despite the natural confidence of a competitive man, it doesn’t take much to throw his game off. There are a lot of ways of doing this, from talking over him to being a sore loser when he wins. If you make him feel as though you are his rival, his sense of place in your life is threatened. You need to understand the role that you play in his life if you want to really get why these things are destructive to your relationship. He wants to feel like you love him, respect him, and accept him. When you stop giving him the love, respect, and acceptance he needs, it begins to chip away at his confidence in the relationship. That doubt is poisonous. Once you become aware that there is a problem, you need to start focusing on the solution. Start by understanding why you feel a need to compete with him. You see, most of the time when women are insecure, we seek affirmation through praise. If you were really 100% secure, you would be offering support and praise to him instead of seeking it for yourself. You can turn things around before they become critical if you just take the time to notice this problem as soon as it begins. As long as you take the time to consider what it would feel like to be in his shoes, you will be able to understand why this is a problem. No one likes to be one-upped, especially by their mate! Next time a competitive situation arises, be encouraging and supportive. Be generous and kind rather than selfish and self-serving. By making his victories your own, your relationship will thrive by being mutually supportive and loving.About the Author:
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